What a weird word.
That’s weird. I was choosing a word of intention for Amanda Kae Gillen, my co-host for our retreat this past winter. Each word would be as unique as the woman, special as their journey and a spark to the change they were creating. I love words; they are powerful, have rhythm and are expressive. This was my idea; each woman would have their own unique word presented to them, and I was excited about it. But out of all the words I could imagine for my magical, heart-centered and magnetic friend, I thought of a weird word.
UNFOLDING.
My first thought was: What a weird word to choose. Does that mean laundry?
My second thought: I love how it reminds me of a time-lapse flower video where you can magically watch a flower transform from a bud to a full-blooming flower.
My third thought: I can’t use unfolding.
I stopped myself with self-doubt.
This writing isn’t about laundry, flowers or weird words. It is about persisting in the unexpected, uncomfortable, and uncertain. It is about expanding.
This is a reminder that to become something new, to hold a bigger version of yourself, you will need to open up or, yes, you guessed it, unfold.
So here are my current ways to stop my self-sabotaging:
Replace the negative with a positive word.
A game I play with my negative inner critic is to replace some frequent negative words, such as can’t, with an opposite positive word. When I heard my thought of “I can’t use unfolding,” I internally signed, knowing the opposite would be “I will use unfolding.” I immediately flip the script on this current list of words: trying, can’t, hoping.
But it is an uncommon, weird word. Insert my own negative criticism.
2. Take an action step.
Take a breath and immediately think of one small action step to move you forward. The size of the action is not important; it is flipping the script on old habits of accepting your own negative thoughts. I tried to convince myself this was not a self-sabotage resulting from self-doubt. Unfolding wasn’t a word I commonly used, so I looked up the definition. If I found any reference to clothes or laundry, I would have a good reason to change to a more common, safer word. Much to my dismay, the meaning was expansive.
My mind played a time-lapse of a flower bud expanding into full bloom.
3. Rephrase your self-talk.
Okay, I thought to myself, without much conviction, maybe unfolding isn't a weird word. Maybe it could be the word to represent the change I saw within Amanda. But I was uncomfortable. So, I procrastinated submitting it to the person creating our custom shirts. I overthought about it the night before our event. I was nervous at the reveal, having a Google search full of beautiful time-lapse flowers ready to justify my selection. Self-talk matters. Choose another better set of words. I kept saying to myself a new phrase: “Unfolding into full bloom is magical; that is my intention.”
4. Be open to receiving.
I explained my word. I didn’t stop myself with can’t. Or even try to explain. I moved forward, explained and then was open to receiving what happened next. Unfolding created a vibe for the event. Amanda gracefully accepted the word. Events unfolded with perfect timing. Expansive. Transformative. The word unfolding showed up in quotes, angel numbers and cards. Allow your mind to receive the good in your life.
Weird turned into wonderful. Magical. Radiant.
This week, I was in a one-to-one coaching conversation with a friend, uncovering her passion, zone of happiness and vision for the upcoming year. My beautiful client listed her “what I want for 2024” with safe, tried and true items and quickly declared, “I think that is about it.”
And I saw it.
She stopped herself.
At a comfortable place.
“We still have time,” I quietly replied, “what else would your heart say you wanted.”
And I saw it.
She started to unfold.
Slowly speaking into life ways, she wanted to expand.
Doubts will come up. You might even have favourite ways to self-sabotage yourself. Ways you stop yourself to keep you safe from the weirdly unknown. I am here to hold a safe space for you to take small, slow steps to unfold into what your heart wants.
I didn’t have the perfect word for this coaching conversation, and I let it stop me from listing it as an offering. I proudly announce the UNFOLDING CONVERSATION for anyone wanting a new result, to rewrite old stories or to expand your mindset when you don’t have life all figured out. If you want to chat with me about this opportunity, comment below, email to connect or purchase the one-to-one service.
Regardless, here is my toast for this season:
Here is to the weird words and uncomfortable stories of 2023; may they set the tone for an expansive and wonderful new year. 2024, I am here for the unfolding.
Cheers,
Leanne
