Fear Can Wait
Wanna know a secret?
Negative thoughts don’t get easier; we just get more resilient.
Not to brag, but I have a knack for surging through emotions faster than you can say self-sabotage.
Scared as hell.
Exuberant.
Embarrassed.
Optimistic.
It started with launching my mindfulness journal. I was scared as hell, letting my old negative self-sabotaging thoughts take over. What does that look like? Well, I was sitting at my kitchen table, in a complete breakdown of tears. The journal was done. I loved the cover. I found an amazing company to print it.
But now? I was getting in my own way. I was having a breakdown of tears over not knowing what picture to take to announce the launch. I didn’t want to look at pictures of me. I wanted to hide. I needed some about-face action.
I decided to do virtually the opposite of all my prior plans and take a picture with a sign of “Fear Can Wait.” Vulnerably acknowledging that a confident social media post wasn’t what felt authentic to me. And that alone felt more freeing than fearful.
I hit post and went for a long walk to lose some of my fear in the forest trails. I returned to an outpouring of love from my community—beautiful comments and messages. Insert more tears, but this time, happy tears. No deeper than that. Exuberant. I was joyfully bouncing around my house.
And then I started to get new messages.
It became clear that my website, the brand new I-did-it-myself website, was not accepting payments. Embarrassed. My desire to have everything perfect caused my anxiety to hit a high level.
Old, familiar thoughts entered my mind.
“Who do you think you are to do this on your own?”
“What is wrong with me that I didn’t ensure it was working?”
“How you do one thing is how you do everything, and this is a failure.”
And I stopped myself.
How I do one thing is how I do everything; I learn.
I hit a speed bump, slowing me down but not stopping me. So, with tears of shame on the edge of falling, I sat down at my computer. I started an online chat with my website host. It quickly became clear the problem was that I was set to be a USA business but had a Canadian bank account; maybe I was subliminally trying to manifest being a snowbird this winter—an easy fix.
I sent messages stating the problem was solved, and within minutes, I had my first sale. Optimism showed up as a smile and had me standing a bit straighter. My inner voice was quickly calmed.
Notice the difference?
Calmed, not fixed.
Replaced, not extinct.
Resilient, not tough.
Resiliency is the ability to bend and not break.
Wanna know a secret?
Negative thoughts don’t get easier; we just get more resilient.
Not to brag, but I have a knack for surging through emotions faster than you can say mindfulness. It is not the thought that comes up that matters; it is how we deal with them.
Repeat after me:
I am the creator of my own inner voice. (yes, typing in the comments counts)
I believe this secret should be more widely recognized; what do you think?
